Hollywood Good

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young

Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and

towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister

Magdalene Edwards was also instructed not to look at Fr.

John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told

her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the

Saturday night bath had done. "Oh, sister," said the young

nun dreamily. "I've been saved." "Saved? And how did that

fine thing come about?" asked the old nun. "Well, when Fr.

John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and

while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his

legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene

continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit

my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I

would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then

Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact," said the old nun even more evenly. "At

first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to

salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would

soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so

good being saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told me it

was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"