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Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
So parents who know everything there was plus-minusnya. One of them, children experience an unnecessary dependency.
Many reasons why parents "forced" himself into the all-knowing parent. Every time a child asked, he tried to answer them all. In fact, if not, a little "up" too enggak problem. Wow! Here are the things that lay behind these attitudes:
- Want to be great or as the best figure in the eyes of children.
- Want to get respect from the child's excess.
- Want to attach to the child.
- Trying to protect children from inappropriate information, or not in accordance with the vision of a parent.
Hindering the child to step forward
Although a variety of reasons can be proposed and "right" to certain conditions, remains just a parent who always knew there was bad effects, among others:
* Possible inhibiting the formation of self-confidence and independence. He got used to rely on parents to answer the question / problem. In the long run, if the dependence is larger and larger, it is quite possible chances for success go so disturbed. Why? Why, the child always feel the need to get "support" full of his parents before deciding anything.
* There was a completely appropriate response. Because parents do not necessarily know all the things asked of children. Worse if the parents still want to be great and then answered carelessly, inappropriate, or even forced to write when feeling pressured.
* Omniscient attitude has become more severe when parents try to insert a particular motive to his satisfaction. In fact, it could be the answer even obscure the core knowledge of the child. For example, children questioned the origin of rain, then the father or mother answered carelessly, "the Lord wept see a brat." For a toddler, chances are considered correct answers (though for a while). Had not she thought always get the right answer for every question he asked?
* Turn off the power of creativity and critical thinking in solving the problem child. After all, he had been accustomed to live thank "bribe" his parents.
* Insights limited knowledge of the child so that the source only from the parents alone.
* Children become very dependent on parents. Do not be surprised if the next period of time the parents will still taken to meet the needs of children.
Information filtering
However, if the parents can "draw forth" of permissiveness are fitted him, a series of child benefit could be picked. Then, how to be wise in this case? Here are some tips that can be applied:
* When children ask questions, confirm what had been intended / asking. Do not rush to answer at length only because it was able to give the right answer.
* Ask the reason why he asked about the matter. It's important to hone a child's ability to reason.
* Once clear what the asking, then answer the question plainly children. To be sure, adjust with the development of age and give appropriate answers to the portion. Do not exaggerate or otherwise too crude. When 5-year olds asking why there is rain, for example, parents do not need to explain the chemical processes of the rain though he was a chemist. Enough scientific outline only.
* Explain how you can answer that question. For example by showing the encyclopedia that contains the answer. Thus, children understand that parents can not answer because avid reader of books. Within the child would be buried, if he would read the book, he would be "smart" father and mother.
* When the child shows admiration because you can answer the question, do not ge-er used to say, "Obviously dong, mama who first." The recommended is to show children about sources of information, such as television, books, and the Internet, as media learn to find answers to all questions.
* If you are not able to answer the questions of children, do not try and knowingly. Nothing to be ashamed to admit that you do not currently know. However, a direct offer to children to find the answers together in a book. If the answer is not in the source, there is no harm in asking other people who are competent in the field. In short, do not hesitate to learn and learn again. Especially if you're feeling more and more and more questions that children can not unanswered.
* As if the answer you gave before was wrong, do not hesitate to correct. Do not ever feel "ashamed" for having the wrong answer. Better than the child immediately correct the wrong information forever.
Benefits gained:
Of course, if shown in fits, omniscient attitude brings benefits, including:
- Parent and child relationship became closer because of the frequency of communication between them must be more intensive.
- Parents are more appreciated and considered smart, great, or even idolized child.
- Answer the child receives more than if the child selected search itself through friends or the internet.
- Access the child to solve problems more easily because parents are more accessible.
- Children get a sense of security because the parents are always there to tell what is needed and wanted to know.
- Parents are encouraged to learn and expand knowledge in order to continue to answer questions and help problem children.
- Implicitly, children become more motivated to learn to become "all-out" as parents.
Many reasons why parents "forced" himself into the all-knowing parent. Every time a child asked, he tried to answer them all. In fact, if not, a little "up" too enggak problem. Wow! Here are the things that lay behind these attitudes:
- Want to be great or as the best figure in the eyes of children.
- Want to get respect from the child's excess.
- Want to attach to the child.
- Trying to protect children from inappropriate information, or not in accordance with the vision of a parent.
Hindering the child to step forward
Although a variety of reasons can be proposed and "right" to certain conditions, remains just a parent who always knew there was bad effects, among others:
* Possible inhibiting the formation of self-confidence and independence. He got used to rely on parents to answer the question / problem. In the long run, if the dependence is larger and larger, it is quite possible chances for success go so disturbed. Why? Why, the child always feel the need to get "support" full of his parents before deciding anything.
* There was a completely appropriate response. Because parents do not necessarily know all the things asked of children. Worse if the parents still want to be great and then answered carelessly, inappropriate, or even forced to write when feeling pressured.
* Omniscient attitude has become more severe when parents try to insert a particular motive to his satisfaction. In fact, it could be the answer even obscure the core knowledge of the child. For example, children questioned the origin of rain, then the father or mother answered carelessly, "the Lord wept see a brat." For a toddler, chances are considered correct answers (though for a while). Had not she thought always get the right answer for every question he asked?
* Turn off the power of creativity and critical thinking in solving the problem child. After all, he had been accustomed to live thank "bribe" his parents.
* Insights limited knowledge of the child so that the source only from the parents alone.
* Children become very dependent on parents. Do not be surprised if the next period of time the parents will still taken to meet the needs of children.
Information filtering
However, if the parents can "draw forth" of permissiveness are fitted him, a series of child benefit could be picked. Then, how to be wise in this case? Here are some tips that can be applied:
* When children ask questions, confirm what had been intended / asking. Do not rush to answer at length only because it was able to give the right answer.
* Ask the reason why he asked about the matter. It's important to hone a child's ability to reason.
* Once clear what the asking, then answer the question plainly children. To be sure, adjust with the development of age and give appropriate answers to the portion. Do not exaggerate or otherwise too crude. When 5-year olds asking why there is rain, for example, parents do not need to explain the chemical processes of the rain though he was a chemist. Enough scientific outline only.
* Explain how you can answer that question. For example by showing the encyclopedia that contains the answer. Thus, children understand that parents can not answer because avid reader of books. Within the child would be buried, if he would read the book, he would be "smart" father and mother.
* When the child shows admiration because you can answer the question, do not ge-er used to say, "Obviously dong, mama who first." The recommended is to show children about sources of information, such as television, books, and the Internet, as media learn to find answers to all questions.
* If you are not able to answer the questions of children, do not try and knowingly. Nothing to be ashamed to admit that you do not currently know. However, a direct offer to children to find the answers together in a book. If the answer is not in the source, there is no harm in asking other people who are competent in the field. In short, do not hesitate to learn and learn again. Especially if you're feeling more and more and more questions that children can not unanswered.
* As if the answer you gave before was wrong, do not hesitate to correct. Do not ever feel "ashamed" for having the wrong answer. Better than the child immediately correct the wrong information forever.
Benefits gained:
Of course, if shown in fits, omniscient attitude brings benefits, including:
- Parent and child relationship became closer because of the frequency of communication between them must be more intensive.
- Parents are more appreciated and considered smart, great, or even idolized child.
- Answer the child receives more than if the child selected search itself through friends or the internet.
- Access the child to solve problems more easily because parents are more accessible.
- Children get a sense of security because the parents are always there to tell what is needed and wanted to know.
- Parents are encouraged to learn and expand knowledge in order to continue to answer questions and help problem children.
- Implicitly, children become more motivated to learn to become "all-out" as parents.
Labels: family
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Communication starts with listening. You try to remember again, when you provide the time, attention, ears, and your mind for a family member? If you want to be heard, start by listening to other people. Do not forget also the following things when you want to start communicating with family members.
Consistent
If you are not consistent with your words, your spouse and your child will be hard to believe in you. Lack of response will give them a chance to rule and take over "the seat of leadership" to terrorize you.
Talk about your true intentions
Children must know that they can trust your speech. How? Because you always do what you say. They need a promise from you, and they await the application of these promises. Your spouse needs to know that he can rely on you.
Teach your baby how to communicate
Teach your child to use his own words about his feelings, not with a whimper, or act annoying. You also need to set an example to them. For example, say that you will be very proud of him if he could say what he desire with words, not with a whimper. Do not forget to say the words that symbolize your love for them.
Do not label your child
Do not ever give stamp of who your child. Do not come out of your mouth will be who and how he was. For example, "Andi was a shy child" or "Andy is very good at sports but bad at math". Let him grow as it is, let him do what he likes. Embrace it and any lack of excess yanga in him.
Parallel
When children are feeling upset, sad, or unhappy, try to talk to him. Come, try to be my level with his eyes. A little touch of the hand can also help calm. If he turned his face from you, try to hold dahunya, and slowly confronted face to face you. Let him know that you are close and can he trust to lean on, and that you can be friends.
Talk with a unanimous voice
Your child should be able to know that he can trust you. That way, he will want to follow your commands so that he would discipline. He also needs the affirmation that you love her. Kontrollah your frustration.
Repeat the words of the little
Repeating what he said made him know that you understand what he has in mind and that he felt. Do not interrupt when he was told. Let him talk as language. Occasionally, when he stammered and did not know what word to use, you can help by suggesting a word that fits the event. Summarize the results of the heart flow.
Show pleasure
The smiles, hugs, humor, whatever your way to show that you feel good, show me. Your child will express themselves more freely if you are more calm and open.
Teach your child to practice breath
When he was holding back anger and tears, there will be times when he had trouble breathing, teach him to train his breath. Take also the time for time-out if he or you are very angry and difficult to control emotions. Take a moment to compose himself. Do not talk when you're emotional. Nothing good can be gained by talking with a bad temper.
Consistent
If you are not consistent with your words, your spouse and your child will be hard to believe in you. Lack of response will give them a chance to rule and take over "the seat of leadership" to terrorize you.
Talk about your true intentions
Children must know that they can trust your speech. How? Because you always do what you say. They need a promise from you, and they await the application of these promises. Your spouse needs to know that he can rely on you.
Teach your baby how to communicate
Teach your child to use his own words about his feelings, not with a whimper, or act annoying. You also need to set an example to them. For example, say that you will be very proud of him if he could say what he desire with words, not with a whimper. Do not forget to say the words that symbolize your love for them.
Do not label your child
Do not ever give stamp of who your child. Do not come out of your mouth will be who and how he was. For example, "Andi was a shy child" or "Andy is very good at sports but bad at math". Let him grow as it is, let him do what he likes. Embrace it and any lack of excess yanga in him.
Parallel
When children are feeling upset, sad, or unhappy, try to talk to him. Come, try to be my level with his eyes. A little touch of the hand can also help calm. If he turned his face from you, try to hold dahunya, and slowly confronted face to face you. Let him know that you are close and can he trust to lean on, and that you can be friends.
Talk with a unanimous voice
Your child should be able to know that he can trust you. That way, he will want to follow your commands so that he would discipline. He also needs the affirmation that you love her. Kontrollah your frustration.
Repeat the words of the little
Repeating what he said made him know that you understand what he has in mind and that he felt. Do not interrupt when he was told. Let him talk as language. Occasionally, when he stammered and did not know what word to use, you can help by suggesting a word that fits the event. Summarize the results of the heart flow.
Show pleasure
The smiles, hugs, humor, whatever your way to show that you feel good, show me. Your child will express themselves more freely if you are more calm and open.
Teach your child to practice breath
When he was holding back anger and tears, there will be times when he had trouble breathing, teach him to train his breath. Take also the time for time-out if he or you are very angry and difficult to control emotions. Take a moment to compose himself. Do not talk when you're emotional. Nothing good can be gained by talking with a bad temper.
Labels: family
Friday, December 25, 2009
Towards Christmas Day and New Year 2010, the living room area that would be pretty important, considering there will be many guests who come to celebrate. Therefore, no wonder if many people hunt for new furniture to simply change the atmosphere of the living room more comfortable.
Here are simple tips that can inspire you to enhance your living room.
1.Sofa and Table
The selection of sofas and tables should be adjusted to a design house designs and themes. Does using a modern minimalist style house, European classical, or ethnic.
For example, if you like the living room Javanese ethnic certainly would be more appropriate if using wooden furniture Jepara carving a beautiful and impressive antiques. Generally made from old teak wood. When considered quite expensive, you can use a replica made of wood species that is cheaper, so more affordable price. However, it is also the possibility to use the sofa with a motif fabric and antique classic memorable.
2.Lampu
Another thing to note is the lighting problem. Can not be denied if the lamp has an important role in the appearance of a whole living room. There's a good idea before buying a lamp, you're a witch-hunt type and type of light first. How can by visiting the sales center lamp, study lamp catalog, or hunting lights on the internet.
But if you want to use the theme of ethnic Javanese, there's nothing wrong if you use old-fashioned antique lamps. For this type of lighting, you can hunt at flea markets or Jl. Surabaya, Jakarta, which sell a range of lights and antique goods description.
3.Hiasan
Another thing that is also important to note is the ornament or ornament in the living room. It is better if the decorations in the living room is not excessive, because displaying decorations or items that do not need to actually make a living room cluttered impression. Therefore, you should be wise in choosing and determining what is appropriate decorations on display in your living room.
Here are simple tips that can inspire you to enhance your living room.
1.Sofa and Table
The selection of sofas and tables should be adjusted to a design house designs and themes. Does using a modern minimalist style house, European classical, or ethnic.
For example, if you like the living room Javanese ethnic certainly would be more appropriate if using wooden furniture Jepara carving a beautiful and impressive antiques. Generally made from old teak wood. When considered quite expensive, you can use a replica made of wood species that is cheaper, so more affordable price. However, it is also the possibility to use the sofa with a motif fabric and antique classic memorable.
2.Lampu
Another thing to note is the lighting problem. Can not be denied if the lamp has an important role in the appearance of a whole living room. There's a good idea before buying a lamp, you're a witch-hunt type and type of light first. How can by visiting the sales center lamp, study lamp catalog, or hunting lights on the internet.
But if you want to use the theme of ethnic Javanese, there's nothing wrong if you use old-fashioned antique lamps. For this type of lighting, you can hunt at flea markets or Jl. Surabaya, Jakarta, which sell a range of lights and antique goods description.
3.Hiasan
Another thing that is also important to note is the ornament or ornament in the living room. It is better if the decorations in the living room is not excessive, because displaying decorations or items that do not need to actually make a living room cluttered impression. Therefore, you should be wise in choosing and determining what is appropriate decorations on display in your living room.
Labels: family
Frankly, even though they were little, your child is not the individual who can not see the discrepancies parents. Maybe when you both disagree, you do not realize that your child is watching you.
Please tell the situation was happening and could happen to them, do not let your child like feel in the dark. Do not know anything about the possibility of divorce they will face.
In fact, they even have realized that "something" was going on before you make the decision to divorce. No need to lay out the details for your child. But, if you intend to take a divorce decision, let the main reason why you made that decision. This discussion should be done when you are calm and able to control your emotions.
As much as possible not to let children become lean on you in this divorce case. However they too will experience major changes in their lives. We recommend that you should remember that those who let you rely on your not convergent to them to find comfort that you do not get from the couple.
Remember, you may not feel like it, but often in divorce situations, children become the parents back flow and it is not good. However, your child does not need to hear that your partner is insolent and ungrateful or vilify bad attitude is not your spouse?
Please tell the situation was happening and could happen to them, do not let your child like feel in the dark. Do not know anything about the possibility of divorce they will face.
In fact, they even have realized that "something" was going on before you make the decision to divorce. No need to lay out the details for your child. But, if you intend to take a divorce decision, let the main reason why you made that decision. This discussion should be done when you are calm and able to control your emotions.
As much as possible not to let children become lean on you in this divorce case. However they too will experience major changes in their lives. We recommend that you should remember that those who let you rely on your not convergent to them to find comfort that you do not get from the couple.
Remember, you may not feel like it, but often in divorce situations, children become the parents back flow and it is not good. However, your child does not need to hear that your partner is insolent and ungrateful or vilify bad attitude is not your spouse?
Labels: family
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