Hollywood Good

This piece once again made me realize the greed and difference in ideals and morals of different  people, races and religions especially in Africa
Pessimist Incarnate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humanity before culture
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, a young father was reunited with his two small daughters after a battle with the law. The reason that his daughters were taken from him was not because he had neglected or abused them in some way, but because their mother had died before he had paid lobola (Marriage Dowry) to her family.

He had even said that he intended to honour the lobola payment, but asked for a little time to come to terms with his own grief and new family situation after the death of his partner before focusing on buying his dead wife from her family.

His in-laws chose to put financial matters ahead of their own grief or concerns for the well being of their grandchildren, and enlisted the assistance of the police and a social worker in removing the children from their father’s care.

This story is appalling for two reasons. The cruelty of the in-laws, whom I can only hope weren’t thinking clearly as they grappled with their own grief, is the least concerning. The fact that a social worker and the police were willing to put the outstanding lobola payment before the well being of the children is simply shocking.

To put this in perspective, these children had just lost their mother. Their father, by all accounts, was a good man who had raised and supported them since they were born. His commitment to his children is evident in the extent to which he was willing to go to battle a system so inexplicably determined to keep them from him.

At a time like this, the well being of the children should be far more important than a financial dispute. The children should have as little disruption as possible and be cared for in their home by their living parent, who is a responsible and loving individual.

Regardless of the cultural situation that requires a man to purchase his wife, in the absence of the wife, children are not objects or pawns to be held by one party or another to secure payment. This kind of human trafficking is inhumane and unacceptable - and I can’t believe that in a supposedly forward-thinking nation, this behaviour was upheld by various representatives of the law.

The social worker involved has been given until May 12 to show why she should not be reported for unprofessional conduct. Even in a country screaming out for social workers, I hope that she is stripped of her licence. It is clear that she has no ability to see what was best for the children - which is surely a basic requirement of her job.

And don’t get me started on the 14-year-old girl who was lashed to death for alleged adultery in Bangladesh.

Whatever your cultural beliefs, these should never become more important than compassion and respect for other human beings - especially children who have no ability to speak out for themselves.

Original Piece found at http://www.news24.com/Guedes/Humanity-before-culture

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part
of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is
going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take
the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be
the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able
to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS....................

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble

coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car
keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I
would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn
thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'

HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put
her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood
of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

Hell, I just love happy endings!

Recently, New Zealand and Japan had a series of earthquakes.

Some were thought to be oscillatory, while others were believed to be trepidatory.

It occurred to me that most people might be confused about this, so I thought it wise to let everyone know the difference.


1. This calculation is just for engineers:

2. And this one is for laymen -- like you:
 

Ingredients

250g frozen puff pastry that is thawed
1 beaten egg
1 tablespoon butter
2 medium onions grated or finely chopped
1 cup corn kernels
100g sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup frozen peas
1 whole cooked chicken deboned and chopped or shredded depending on how you like it
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon tobasco sauce
2 tablespoons flour
500ml chicken stock
250ml fresh cream
Salt and pepper to taste

Method

Before you start this recipe, pop your frozen pastry in the fridge for about 2 hours to thaw. It is best to thaw it out in the freezer than on the counter or microwave, just seems to stay intact better.

Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a pan on a medium heat and fry the onions until they are soft, add the mushrooms and fry for about another 3 minutes stirring occasionally.

Now add the corn, frozen peas and chicken and cook for a few minutes to mix in all of the ingredients. Remove from the heat and set aside.

In another pot, melt 2 tablespoons of butter and add the flour. Stir or whisk well to cook the flour a little, be careful not to burn it, you want it to be yellow not brown. Now remove it from the heat and add the chicken stock in a slow stream, also add the tabasco whisk very well while adding the stock until all of the flour is mixed in and you have no lumps.

Pop it back on the stove and bring to the boil while you stir continuously, then reduce the heat to low, add the cream and stir until you feel it starting to thicken up. Remove from the heat, toss in the chicken mixture and give it a good mix.

Pour the mixture into a casserole dish that is about 20cm x 20cm x 10cm or a shallower one that is about 30cm x 20cm x 6cm and then place the pastry over the top. Tuck it in and fold any overlaps back onto the top. Cut 2 x 4cm slits in the pastry, wash the top with the beaten egg and place in a 180 Celsius oven for about 30 mins or until the pastry is crisp and browned.

Controversial sex convention Sexpo is raunchy enough as it is. But this year South African fans will be even more shocked.

This is because new reality show Porn Stars has enlisted the help of Sexpo fans to find the country’s next male and female porn star.

The controversial reality show will travel to Durban in August and Joburg in September – but not to Cape Town as Sexpo isn’t going to the Mother City this year – to show off the 100 finalists chosen from the auditions to showcase their talents.

“People attending the Sexpo this year will get the first glimpse of the 100 finalists chosen by us.

“The finalists will be performing sexual acts live on stage so that people at the show can vote,” said Porn Stars producer Donovan van Wyngaard.

"Together with the people at Sexpo, (porn magazine) Hustler subscribers and the judges, a decision will be made as to who we choose as the lucky winners for the show.”

Gigi, owner of Joburg strip club the Lollipop Lounge and winner of SA reality show Survivor, along with Afrikaans writer Yolanda Barnard and Hustler’s Adam Gordon are the three judges who have whittled down the hopefuls to the 100 at Sexpo.

While the reality show has yet to hold auditions in Cape Town and Durban, Van Wyngaard said they were very pleased with the auditions in Gauteng, but especially with the number of people who had come forward to register.

More than a thousand porn star hopefuls registered to audition for the show at the Penthouse store in Woodmead, Johannesburg, three weeks ago – but only 120 were lucky enough to get an audition.

“Those that managed to make the 120 cut did a fantastic job. The first set of auditions involve us judging the acting skills, while the next set will involve the sexual performance of the individuals,” said Van Wyngaard.

The next set of auditions are to take place at the Lollipop Lounge, and Gigi cannot wait. “The first set of auditions were great fun and we have many talented people in Joburg. All different kinds of people entered the show, not the typical kind of people we expected,” said Gigi.

“One thing for sure is that there aren’t many shy people in Gauteng, we received so many registrations,” she laughed.

“At my club we will further cut down the numbers and then move on to auditions in Durban and Cape Town, it’s very exciting.”

She added that the next set of auditions – where contestants would be performing sexual acts – would be interesting to say the least.

“I’m sure all the people who entered think they are great at it (sex), it will be interesting to see just how good they are. Maybe we will find the perfect porn star. Who knows,” she said.

The reality TV show will announce the two winners after their performances at the Sexpo shows in Durban and Joburg. The male and female winners will also get roles in Hustler’s 2011 end-of-year film and receive R5 000.

Van Wyngaard wouldn’t say which TV station would flight the series, but did say that South Africans could expect to see the first Porn Stars episode soon as talks with television producers were at an advanced stage.

“Currently we are just busy editing the pilot,” said Van Wyngaard

Original Story http://www.iol.co.za/live-sex-shows-at-kinky-expo

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.

"Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable again !

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts".....no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks".....still no good.

"Loons and Moons".....forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"

Everyone loved it!

HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE

A motorcycle speed cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.

Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence,

'Get well soon. From the nurse in the Subaru you pulled over last week and ticketed for speeding.'

For those that were disappointed by General Motors’ decision to cancel plans for a Pontiac G8 Sport Truck, BMW may have the perfect replacement model in the works. While camped out at Germany’s famed Nurburgring, our spy spotted an incredibly odd automotive concoction – an M3 prototype wearing a pickup truck bed.

While we don’t have full details on this El Camino-inspired M3, we can confirm it is part of BMW’s Nurburgring test fleet. What place it holds in that lineup, however, remains a mystery.

Although it’s highly unlikely that BMW is actually planning a utility version of its popular M3 model, we can’t really explain the existence of this prototype. Our spies are trying to get to the bottom of this mystery, and we’ll update this space as soon as we learn anything new.

Original seen at http://www.leftlanenews.com/bmw-m3-pickup.html

Ingredients

1 kilogram short ribs, cut in Blocks
Salt to taste
1/4 cup minced onions
1/4 cup Tomato paste
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon mustard
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 oxtail stock cube

Directions

Trim the top layer of fat from the short ribs. Place several pieces of this fat in a pot and cook over medium heat until bottom is lightly coated with fat,  remove the pot from the heat. Sprinkle the short ribs with salt, brown them on all sides, and then remove them when they are done.

Add the onion to the pot you have removed the ribs from and slightly saute until lightly browned. Return the short ribs to the pot and add the tomato paste, water, lemon juice, sugar, mustard, salt, oxtail stock cube and Worcestershire sauce. Cover the pot and cook over low heat for 2 hours, or until tender, stirring occasionally

Serve this with creamy mashed potato or rice

Nothing has been more responsible for machine gun noises than the mouth of Ice cream eating kids playing with toy World War II-era fighter planes.

It's easy to see why kids love them: The real ones were some of the most badass machines ever built. They dealt death to ground, sea and air alike. And when you were done using them to tear apart your enemies in a hail of bullets, you could also make yourself some refreshing ice cream!

Yep: You can make ice cream with a plane.

To quote: "To stave off boredom the ground crews rigged 19-liter (five U.S. gallons) cans with a wind-driven spinner connected to a mixing rotor, and hooked up one under each wing of an F4U.

A pilot would take the aircraft up to high altitude for a given period of time and then come back to base with the ice cream." And it wasn't just an isolated incident pulled off by the World War II equivalent of Bill Murray in Stripes, either -- the practice was pretty common.

In some cases, the soldiers even asked the pilot to do loops and barrel rolls to stir the ice cream, not even going to the trouble of fitting a mixer like they did with the F4U.

Thankfully, modern planes are no longer used for such trivial matters.

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical
relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted
his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

In fact, so frustrating was the Lamborghini Gallardo ownership experience for one Qingdao resident that he decided to destroy his car publicly.

The unidentified Gallardo owner bought the black Lamboi in late 2010 but then experienced a few issues with the Italian supercar. First, it would not start. Then, after it was transported to the dealership for diagnostic analysis, technicians damaged it.


To compound these issues, not a single dealer employee would take responsibility for the damaged Gallardo and – unbelievably – the original non-starting malady still hadn't been resolved.

INCREASINGLY DISSATISFIED?

After repeated attempts to raise the issue with senior Lamborghini after-sale service directors failed the hapless Gallardo owner even tried to personally contact Stephan Winkelmann, Lamborghini’s CEO. When all else failed, it was decided to make an example of the mercantile business practices many luxury brands are currently pursuing in China, using Lamborghini as an example.


Many Chinese are increasingly aware of the fact that despite providing the strongest demand for certain luxury goods (cars among them) brands are happy to take the money but later be unable to provide service levels comparable to those found in Europe and North America.

In an attempt to draw attention to the problem of purchasing a supercar for R4-million practically without competent after-sale back-up, the good residents of Qingdao were invited to participate in the destruction of said Gallardo – accomplished with sledgehammers.

The date of destruction, March 15, was chosen specifically - it was World Consumer Rights Day.

And all that time you thought South African supercar after-sale servicing was a trifle underwhelming

A moving and inspirational piece on a girl with Downs syndrome who has not allowed life to challenge her or slow her dreams and aspirations down

A young person who never allowed her disability to hold her back is an inspiration to us all

Jonathan Jansen: I have sat in audiences where I have listened to and interacted with Edward Said, Jurgen Habermas, Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela and a half-dozen Nobel Laureates in the sciences.
 
But never before have I heard a speech with the intelligence, insight and compassion of a Down's Syndrome girl who came to my office three days ago. This is what she said:

"As you can see I am a person with Down's Syndrome, which means that I have one extra chromosome in every cell in my body. My grandmother's friends wanted to pray for me to become 'normal' but my mother asked them rather to pray that I would receive the support to reach my full potential as a Down's Syndrome person.

"I always knew that I was different. My mother explained to me that the reason why I have more difficulty studying and doing things is because I am a person with Down's Syndrome.

"I wondered why people admire Nelson Mandela. When my mother explained that he was in jail for 27 years and stayed positive and loving, I immediately identified with him. Sometimes I feel as if I am in the jail of my own body because I cannot always say how I feel and many people talk to my mother about me, but not to me, as if I am invisible or cannot speak for myself.

"I learn new things every day and sometimes feel sorry for myself because I cannot get married or leave the house in the same way that my sisters do. I know Gustaaf, my Down's friend for the past 12 years, will not be able to look after me. He cannot look after himself.

"He cannot even send me an SMS, even though I tried to teach him one whole afternoon. So I have decided to get married in heaven one day, where we will all be the same.

"I need dreams, just the way you do. But I adjust my dreams to my abilities.

"That was one difficult thing about going to a school with only 'normal' children - you have problems fitting in. So I started to ask the boys whether they wanted my extra chromosome and, because they could not understand what I was saying, they left me alone.

"My stepfather tried to teach me to drive, but I am too short. When my feet touch the pedals, I cannot see, and when I sit on cushions, my feet cannot reach the pedals.

"I received a Grade 10 certificate before leaving Martie Du Plessis High School. In my last year at school, I received a prize for the highest marks in biology and I received the highest honour of the school for drama accomplishments on National level among 'normal' learners.

"After leaving school I went to the Motheo College, a technical college, and was also the first and only Down's Syndrome student to be accepted there.

"With the grace of our dear Lord, a lot of hard work and an ulcer because I stressed so much, I passed the N3 course, which equals 'matric', and after that I passed the N4, N5 and N6 courses. The N6 course is the highest qualification at the college. I was awarded the Education Diploma in Educare, in May 2009.

"When my mother and sister received their degrees, I started to dream about wearing a robe and mortarboard and walking across a podium. When I did eventually walk across a graduation podium all the people in the City Hall stood up for me. I was also awarded a special prize for being the first Down's student to receive a National Diploma. That was the most amazing moment of my life. I looked at all the people and saw my mother and sisters crying.

"I am so happy to work at Lettie Fouche, a special school for learners with learning problems, as an assistant in the pre-primary classes. I enjoy every day and I help the teacher to prepare her lessons and to stimulate the learners.

"Vanessa Dos Santos of Down's Syndrome South Africa asked me to 'open' the international conference for Down's Syndrome in 2012. She also asked me to be on the International Board for Down's Syndrome.

"I live among these people . me, a girl with Down's Syndrome, a condition that makes people abort their babies and lock them in institutions or at the back of their homes so others can't see them!

"May you also be blessed with happiness and a heart full of compassion for those in need."

Original Post http://www.timeslive.co.za/Downs-girl-makes-spirit-soar

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens

"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Zimbabwe President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Robert, the South African people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

"I do need your help," said Robert. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Zuma.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Robert.

"Yes?"

"Could the condoms be Black in color and at least 10"Inches long and 4" inches in diameter?" said Robert.

"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Zuma hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favor, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Zimbabwe."

"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be black in color, 10" long and 4" wide."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yes," said the President let’s give Robert something to think about and show our superiority, "print 'MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one."

Chef Homaro Cantu thinks so. At last week's TED conference in Long Beach, he told an audience that he believed the berries could help feed people in famine-stricken regions by transforming what would normally be inedible ingredients, such as wild and bitter grasses, into palatable food, Wired reports. For his own two daughters, Cantu makes a faux maple syrup (a concoction of corn starch, water, lemon juice and the miracle berry) and a faux soda (carbonated water, lemon juice and the berry). So sneaky.

Critics, however, say this hunger-ending method is cost-prohibitive, as it originally took three berries to produce one tablet. Today, though, one berry can make 16 tablets, and Cantu says they're also experimenting with miraculin--the plant protein that binds to the sour and bitter receptors in the mouth, preventing these flavors from being tasted--in powder and an inhalable form. The berry may also have possible health benefits, serving as a natural sweetener for diabetics and eliminating the metallic flavor chemotherapy patients taste in food.

The best way to encounter the fruit is in a group. “You need other people to benchmark the experience,” A friend said. At his first taste party, a small gathering at his apartment in January, guests murmured with delight as they tasted citrus wedges and goat cheese. Then things got trippy.

“You kept hearing ‘oh, oh, oh,’ ” he said, and then the guests became “literally like wild animals, tearing apart everything on the table.”

“It was like no holds barred in terms of what people would try to eat, so they opened my fridge and started downing Tabasco and maple syrup,” he said.

The fruits are available by special order from specialty suppliers

Be warned however the taste distortion can be quite long lasting and effects all tastes differently so that nothing tastes quite the same as usual until the effect wears of and that can be a few hours